Be Calm

7:17... not a bad time of morning, right? It's after sunrise, before the morning gets too late... Not bad. Wronggggg, especially when you wake up and realize that your alarm was set to the wrong time and you have just about thirteen minutes to get up, get ready, and get out the door. Guys might shrug and change their clothes, ready to go in three minutes, but girls... girls are another story entirely. Showers, make up, clothes... we need time to prepare ourselves for facing the world.

So needless to say, when I opened my eyes to find sunlight streaming in through our tiny window, I freaked out. Did the alarm not go off? Was it broken? Did I turn it off in my sleep? I pondered these questions as I flew through half my morning routine.

With wet hair streaming behind me and only half of my face done up, I began to power-walk to class. I would have ran to the Cultural Arts building, had it not been for the incredibly bulging book bag that I'd strapped on. My calves ached by the time I'd crossed into the air conditioning, where the cold air burned my lungs...

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Anyway, that was my morning yesterday. I wrote that narrative as I waited outside for English class (my second class of the day). I had an hour to burn and nothing better to do with my time than write down what was running through my mind.

Speaking of writing, I wrote a freaking incredible song the other day. It's my new baby. I gave it to a friend for his birthday.

So my Creative Writing class is the most epic course in the world. I adore it. I don't speak up much on the whole, but no doubt I'm sure I will eventually. I've just got to find my comfort zone.

I'm supposed to be doing my English homework right now... hahaha... I've got to print it off tonight in J's room because E and I don't have a printer in our room and the iPrint station downstairs is broken or something like that -suckssssss.

I've started keeping a Writing Journal for Creative Writing. I've got one page about the auditions for "The Wild Duck" that I went to the other day. I found it extremely interesting.

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I get to come home for Labor Day. I'm psyched to get my boots... I miss them so very much... and my cat, I really, really miss my cat.

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Be Calm by Fun

The Mixed Tape

Really? I love Babes, but really? I know you're reading this by the way, dear. I really appreciate your concern for my well-being, but you know I'm a big girl right? I've thoroughly thought this thing through, I promise. There's not a minute when I'm not thinking it through. I'm working it out. It'll be okay. I'll be okay. Take a deep breath, Babes, things will turn out fine.

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These random guys from my floor have taken residence out in the hallway. I went out to see what was going on and our RA Jeremy was off to take care of it. I was amused. It's not that they're really crazy or anything, but sound travels. Especially at three in the morning.

I'm really loving the freedom that college affords me. Like, E and I actually went out at 10:45 p.m. to get Cookout because we were hungry. At home, we could have never done that. It's pretty wicked. Of course, I still have my homework yet to do. I'm thinking that I'll do that on the morrow, as I have nothing else on my agenda.

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I never actually thought that I'd meet so many guys my first week of school. I met this guy, R, the other night and I think I'm going to talk him into taking me to the ATL concert at Myrtle Beach. Good idea? Probably not. Oh well :) If he's going to kill me or something, it might as well be after I see my favorite band.

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I will admit the fact that I can be a silly little girl sometimes. But sometimes it's nice to be a silly little girl and live in the moment. E and I had a discussion walking back to the dorm about conformity and whatnot. So I handed her my food to carry for a second and I ran through the sprinklers. It was awesome.

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The Mixed Tape by Jack's Mannequin

My Sweet Time

So I'm very happy to report that I survived my first week of college classes (well, technically it's my first half-week, but whatev). We've been having such a crazy awesome time of it.

Weds night, E, S, and I went to the Five Times August performance and it was amazingly incredible. We got to sit right up front. Brad, the lead singer of the band, actually accepted my friend request on facebook (yay! it rocked my socks). Then E and S both went back to the dorm and I met up and chilled with J for the fireworks. We ended up hanging out with this guy, G, who J had danced with at one of the clubs. M joined us and so did some of G's friends. I've been meeting so many guys this week that it's insane. I'm hoping that it's just because I make friends easier with guys. Otherwise, my life is about to become wayyyy more complicated than it needs to be.

I've been talking to C a lot through texting and whatnot. He just got a webcam, so we'll be talking.

It's really funny, I'm so ready to come back home to visit, just to visit. So much fun :)

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Blah, nothing else to really say. But I'm going to grab a Mt. Dew and chill out :)

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My Sweet Time by Alexz Johnson

Umbrellas and Elephants

So I'm officially moved in to my dorm room at college. I'm pretty psyched. It's going to be a wicked awesome year. My roommate and I are getting along and no fights have started yet... so I'll take that as a good sign.

I'm listening to these two lame guys talking out in the hallway. I find it amusing.

A lot of the drama that I've left behind at home has completely evaporated, like it never existed. And I'm basically shocked that it could have ever been that easy. Things are really great here.

I do miss all of my friends terribly though... But I'm looking forward to making new friends. It's not something that I've ever found very easy, but maybe I can learn how to do it.

Homesickness hasn't hit me yet. It will, though, when I remember that Jazz isn't here. :(

LoL, silly kitty...

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Umbrellas and Elephants by Cinematic Sunrise

Don't Look Back...

So here I am. In my college town. I'm chilling in a Sleep Inn listening to some five year old kids running around in the hallway (it's 10:22 at night, by the by). I just finished watching a romantic comedy with Mom and T. I'm not sure why I find them so very appealing, but I do, so whatever.

The four hour car ride down here was excruciating. I sat in the back seat of my mom's car with two duffle bags, my purse, my laptop, my mini-fridge (which is SO not very mini), my suitcase, and various other bags that wouldn't fit in the trunk. I'm astounded at my dad's packing skills to be honest. It was incredible. Anyway, I ended up watching I Love You, Man on my laptop on the way down. I thought that since it's a funny movie, it would distract me from the sad tickling sensation behind my eyes. I'm proud of myself, I only cried a little bit, though last night I was practically bawling.

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I'm not too sad about leaving, but I guess I'm a little upset about all of the "maybes" and "might have beens" that I left behind. And now I have to start over. I hate when a story ends like that. Just when everything starts getting good, there is the end of the book. And you have to wait ages for the next book to come. And yes, I know that my story hasn't technically ended, but I feel like this week has been the big season finale and I have to wait for the new season to start.

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I also want to thank all of my friends out there for all of the support you've all given me. I was texting with D earlier and I confessed to him that I wasn't sure if I was ready or not. He was so very, very sweet. All of my friends have been like this. And I know that we're all starting new chapters (or new seasons) in our lives. I think it's absolutely great that we're all so connected. So here's a shout out to everyone! I LOVE YOU ALL <3 <3 <3 And we are definitely going to be getting together homecoming weekend, even if I have to hitchhike home :)

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I'm finishing this post and thinking about new beginnings. I know things have to end. So here I go off to big bad college. This is the end of one season, let's see what new twists and turns the next one takes.

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Don't Look Back by School Boy Humor

One Track Mind

So this week has been the very definition of crazy. I don't think so much stuff has *ever* happened in seven consecutive days. And I'm still reeling from all of it. At this point, I don't know how I'm still standing. Absolutely everything has changed, and I'm finding that while it really hurts to conform to the alterations, it's all for the best. Maybe.

The only thing I've been able to play on my guitar lately has been "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry, and that's not such a happy song. But it's pretty, and it's pertinent. So I shall continue to play it.

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Today Babes woke me up by cuddling with me. I freaked because I thought he was my cat... and then it occurred to me that if the warm cuddling thing was a cat, it was a freakishly large cat and so NOT Jazz. Anyway, he got me up late and we had to leave early, so he ended up having to leave and I met up with him a shower and breakfast later. We went to Wal-Mart so that I could get the rest of the stuff that I need in order to move out tomorrow... And I forgot half of the stuff on my list.

Anyway, we then went to the Music store so that I could get my strings changed on Artemis (my acoustic guitar) and by the time we had finished talking with the owners I was an hour and a half late to C's house to pick him up.

On my way to C's house, I was surprised to find a good portion of the local police squad just chilling on the road. They stopped all of the traffic in front of me and started searching cars. By the time I realized this, I also realized that I was going to be very, very late in picking C up and that I was freaked out. But apparently I'm too cute and innocent to harbor the three robbers who were running around in the nearby woods (yes, that's right, and they were armed as well). I had to drop C off again at night... I felt very unsafe - they only caught one of them...

Anyway, after that episode, C, R, and I went to Mellow Mushroom and grabbed some food. R apparently has issues finding legal parking spots (there were cops everywhere over there as well), so I went in and got two dollars in quarters so he could use a parking meter. I had to stand on the corner in short shorts waiting for him to pull up. Awkward... After we got in, we had a bit of *significant* conversation and then went to the mall.

At the mall, I coerced R into going into Victoria's Secret with me because I had a coupon for a free pair of panties and $10 off of a bra (and I mean, really, how can you pass that up?!) while C ditched and went to FYE. It was awkward with C there anyway.

So we went to check out, and we met a girl named C, who had been having a really great day. We got to hear, in detail, about her really great day, and her great hair, and her new love who had really great hair, and the kids with great hair that they were going to have together. It was epic.

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But yeah. I'm moving out tomorrow. I guess the only really bad thing about new beginnings is that they're always accompanied by endings. Hopefully a lot of these endings won't be permanent. I'm not sure if I'd be able to take that. Especially not with everything that's been going on lately. I've never felt more like Molly Montgumery, and I can now fully appreciate her story. Poor, poor girl.

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These regrets are hitting me hard. I should have never tricked myself into believing that it would be the summer of no regrets... all I did was set myself up for disappointment.

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One Track Mind (When I Think About You) by An Evening With

Spinning ...

It's so weird how life works sometimes. How little situations lead up to one big epic moment when everything suddenly makes complete and perfect sense. A moment of clarity, an instance when time stops completely and you're left wondering why you had never seen it that way before.

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Spinning by Jack's Mannequin

To Those Called Icarus

I finally got my own laptop today, very sweet. I'm totally loving being able to just chill in my room and write. It's so... I don't know... less confining than writing at a desk. Plus, I love messing with my webcam... *tee hee*

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I've been reflecting a lot today. Actually buying the rest of my stuff for college has got me freaking out on the inside. I mean, I know that I'm ready for it. No question of that. But I don't know. I had so much that I wanted to get accomplished this summer.

I wanted to finish my novel, I wanted to find out who I was. I wanted to make memories that I would never, ever forget.

There's this part of me that wants to feel completely free and reckless and alive... but that little voice that hangs around in the back of my head won't let loose the other part. The result is this constant war between my two selves. I was supposed to become someone else this summer, someone confident and out-going and fun, but instead, I'm who I've always been. Bummer.

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I've been wanting to change up my writing style lately. All of my stuff is so *cute* and *adorable* but I want to write something that's going to change the world one day. I know that's a lot to strive for... but it's nice to have goals. Even if you can never accomplish them.

I've been listening to a band called The Orphan, The Poet and I'm very impressed with their stuff. I'd like to write something like that one day, maybe. Something that will eventually mean something to someone.

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To Those Called Icarus by The Orphan, The Poet

*sigh*

No creative name for this post. Just annoyance.
Mom and I were supposed to go see Public Enemies tonight as a Mom-Daughter kind of thing, since we both wanted to go see the movie. I looked up the show times for three different theaters, ones that I knew how to get to, and I told her that she could choose which show we went to go see and where. I also asked her to wake me up if she wanted to go see an early showing.
I woke up at two. She was also asleep.
She decided she'd rather watch television and sit around in her pajamas then spend time with me.
I'm not a fan of sitting around and watching television, so I left. She got pissed because we weren't spending time together. This makes no sense at all to me.
*sigh*
Two weeks left.