L.G. Fuad

Mom's car exploded.

Not really, the transmission is just messing up.

But this makes it insanely difficult to plan a car-sharing schedule over the weekend (since we both have to work) because she's still not speaking to me.

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There are eight days in between me and moving out of this house. I've been getting through them by watching A Very Potter Sequel.

This is the second time I've watched it. I adore Team Starkid.

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It's weird, though. This time last year, I didn't want to leave home. Things were actually looking up for once, and I hated to leave in the middle of everything.

Now, I can't wait to get out. I hate that things are this way, but I can't do anything to change them now.

L.G. Fuad by Motion City Soundtrack

Even If It Kills Me

I've never had so many people not talking to me before, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. Usually I'm freaking out all the time, trying to fix things and please people and just generally make everyone smile and myself miserable.

Now, I'm just bored with it. Okay, I'm not perfect. You can deal with it.

My mom isn't speaking to me right now. At all. Despite the fact that I'm leaving in ten days for college and not coming back this time until Christmas break. Last year, I was home at least once a month, just because that's how my schedule worked out (and I was a stupid teenager with a boyfriend back at home). But now I have a job, and an apartment, and I can't be running home all the time.

I'm not sure how to handle this silence. While I don't want to leave things tense between the two of us, I REALLY, really, really, REALLY, really don't want to have a shouting match before I leave. I'm so tired of fighting with everything and everyone (myself included).

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My cat is currently sitting on top of my backing bins. I don't think that Jazz understands what they are, only that they are stable enough for her to jump off of when on the prowl. She's stalking my Disney princess balloon at the moment.

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Packing over a week in advance is difficult work. I'm constantly thinking about what I'll need and what I won't. The fact that Mom's not talking to me doesn't make it any easier when I'm deciding what furniture I want to take with me.

I'm just ready to be gone from all of this drama. I want to rid myself of this old shell and start something new and incredible again. Like last year, only more amazing because I won't have the same ties that I did when I first left. I feel so pent up right now, so frustrated, so tired.

10 days and counting.

Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack

Cold As You

And thus ends the exciting adventure in having the house to myself. My parents and younger brother arrived back in town from Cincinnati earlier this evening and I'm not sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, I'm glad I'm no longer responsible for everything that occurs in this house. On the other, I miss the silence. Oh, how I miss the silence.

For a while, the quiet of the house freaked me out. Every horror movie I've ever seen raced through my mind as I opened the bathroom door or walked out to the garage. I could just imagine a bathtub full of blood, or a chainsaw-carrying psychopath hiding in the dark.

But now. Now I think I'd much prefer the psychopath.

At least the psychopath wouldn't turn on every fan in the house along with the air conditioning. I walked in from work today and the house was a good twenty degrees colder than when I had left. I'm currently typing this blog post from my bed, where I'm wrapped in sweatpants, a hoodie, and two comforters. Yeah, I usually sleep with two comforters on when my mom is around.

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I made a mistake this week that I continue to keep making. It's so irritating that I can't learn from the past. But being the type of person I am (romantic novelist who falls in love with ideas rather than actual people), I was doomed.

I feel like this was a week for mistakes. And lessons. And adventures. I think I learned more about myself this week than I did during the entire first semester of college. Granted, there's a reason I didn't learn much about myself during that semester, but that's also the reason I'm so in-tune with myself right now.

The summer's not over yet, though, and there is still a lot of stuff running through my head. In two weeks, I'll be out of this town and back home.

I want everything to be settled then. I want my bridges burned. I want to be free. We'll see where life takes me.

Cold As You by Taylor Swift

Party Girl

So I was hostessing at work today. This is a very, very simple task that involves seating people at various tables on a rotation. Not hard.

Today started out like any other day. I went in, my manager told me things that I already knew because he likes to repeat himself, and I started working.

Today a very nice lady decided to approach me... Speaking French. As sad as I am to say this, I don't speak French. I knew enough to know that she was asking me if I spoke French, but all I could do was shake my head. She then asked me, in Spanish, if I spoke Spanish. I realize that supposedly, I've been learning Spanish since the first grade (had I stayed at the elementary school that I was in for kindergarten, I would have actually learned French instead... and Japanese) I am not a fluent Spanish speaker. Not even close - although my Spanish 211 class in college helped out a lot. Anyway, the moment I sat her at her table, I was sorely tempted to run out of the restaurant and buy every Rosetta Stone within a ten mile radius.

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On another note, I was woken up a few days ago at 9:30 in the morning by my good friend J. J and I have a really great friendship, but after reading the text he sent me, I definitely started doubting whether or not I could consider him a friend.

His text read "Have you read all the Harry Potter books?"

..... Yes. Yes I have. I am an avid Harry Potter fan, so much so that for a brief period of time, I could have accurately described myself as a FanGirl.

"Does Dumbledore die?"

..... I'm an aspiring author. Why would I give away such key plot points?! As I look back on it, I really wish that I had created some complete nonsense story and fed it to him. Instead, I took a deep breath and gave a vague sketch of the plot. I'm a terrible person.

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My all-time favorite band, McFly, just released their new single to the radio. The song is called "Party Girl."

Let me declare something: I love McFly. I've been a HUGE supporter of their music ever since I stumbled across them in 2005. They resurrected Brit Pop from an untimely grave. Their song "Five Colours in Her Hair" was incredible (especially the re-make that they did for their US album), so was their last single "One for the Radio." That song was a bit more mainstream that I had previously seen them do, but it was still along the lines of McFly awesomeness. Of course, my favorite McFly song was "Transylvania" on their Motion In The Ocean album.

But I digress.

Their new song, titled "Party Girl" surprised me. Maybe it was the random female voice at the beginning. Maybe it was the synth. Maybe it was the way I kept expecting to hear "caught in a bad romance..." after the first five seconds...

Please don't get me wrong. I don't hate it. I still love McFly. Danny, Dougie, Tom, and Harry all have my heart (though Dougie is still my favorite). I will still buy the album when it comes out September 6th. I was just a bit surprised and disappointed that they sound exactly like everything else on the radio these days. I'm hoping that the album will show a bit more variety. But like Tom said when he introduced the song on a British radio station a few days ago. "It's the end of the beginning."

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Facebook just bumped me off for site maintenance. It's sad that this bothers me so much. I feel like I shouldn't be so dependent on the internet. And yet here I sit, holding six different conversations, playing music, checking my e-mail, and writing this post when I should be fast asleep for my morning shift tomorrow. Hmmm. Oh well :)

Party Girl by McFly

The Blank Static Screen

My friend, R, has been giving me grief about writing a blog for my band, LIN. I am of the opinion that this blog will be terribly boring until things actually start *happening* with my band. As of now, my band mate is four hours away from me and we haven't written anything new in ages. I just haven't felt like music-writing.

HOWEVER

I did finally break my writer's block! It took a terrible thunder storm and a close call with a bolt of lightning to bring the words back to me. Which is weird, but I'm not going to question, I'm just going to roll with it. Thanks to the return of my senses, I might actually reach my self-imposed deadline. The book *might* actually be finished by the end of summer.

I'm so excited about the close of this book. There are only a few more scenes that I have to work to piece together, and then of course I have to write the final ending. But it's going to be beautiful when I finally finish.

I'm hoping that Warped Tour will help to fuel the fire that's been started inside of me, forging the words that I type out. All of the excitement is exactly what I need. Right now I have my iTunes library on shuffle to give me some random music that I haven't listened to in forever. There are so many songs that I haven't actually listened to - for good reason - but now they're helping my concentration since I can't sing along to them.

The Blank Static Screen by VersaEmerge

Fuzzy Blue Lights

I feel like I've hit a solid brick wall in every single creative endeavor I've ever started. There's no music inside of me right now, and the words that usually flow into a story have all but dried up. In the past two weeks, I've been able to play only covers and have written three sentences in my book. I'm so incredibly frustrated.

I've taken to having random adventures, hoping that they'll spur me into writing something, anything, that could be remotely useful.

Two nights ago, my friends C, J, J, and I played putt-putt. On a whim, we decided that we would go ahead and spend the extra $3 to play on the bumper boats. It was WORTH IT. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life. We all got soaked and proceeded to buy a deck of cards and play B/S at a local coffee shop. I adore B/S.

I'm getting super-psyched for the my Ultimate Adventure, going to Warped Tour. There are going to be so many incredible bands performing. I was surprised that I actually knew most of them, haha. It's going to be an incredible day.

Only a few more weeks until E, M, and I move into our new apartment. I can't wait to get back to writing music with E. Maybe it'll go better than it has with me on my own.

Fuzzy Blue Lights by Owl City