Very Good Advice

I got my very first *real* job today. I'm pretty sure that it usually takes more than three minutes to interview, usually, but it was fun and now I'm going to have a paycheck and can take that on my trip to visit my roommate :D

I still have a count-down until I get to go back home. 73 days and counting. I really can't wait to be on my own, though I've had some fun since I've been back in town. I really, really miss performing though. I also miss going to the beach. I need some sunshine (it's been rainy here - blah). Sunshine and cute boys and my girls back at my side. Ah yes.

I cannot wait until Alice in Wonderland comes out on DVD soon. I know a lot of people think that it was lame, but I absolutely loved that movie. Maybe it's because I'm half-mad as is. :)

This novel that I'm writing is going to end up kicking my butt. (sigh). I must prevail!

Very Good Advice - Alice in Wonderland (covered by Robert Smith)

The Future Freaks Me Out

I always wanted write things that would follow in the footsteps of Austen or the Brontë sisters. I knew that it wouldn't really happen that way, but it was I dreamt of. I have greatly overestimated my abilities. Maybe I'll be stuck writing bubble-gum-pop novels for the rest of my life. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just wanted to do a little bit more.

I think that being at home has made me lose a lot of the faith in myself that I had gained in college. It doesn't take much to revert back to one's natural state, and all of the ground that I had gained in college seems to have disappeared. Leaving me confused and unsteady. I miss being sure of my abilities. 76 days left until I move into my own apartment far away from this place (not that I'm counting...).

My cat is determined to kill me, that I *am* sure of. Ever since I got home, I've felt absolutely terrible. I might just have a horrible summer cold, but there's a distinct possibility that I am allergic to my cat. So naturally, I became her favorite person in the whole house. She sits with me, sleeps in my bed, and follows me wherever I go. I'm actually afraid of her. She knows what she's doing, too. Silly cat. I don't know who she thinks is going to stay up all night with her if she kills me off.

There are really only two good things that came out of this weekend (Besides my younger brother turning 17... when did he get so OLD?!).

1) I got the first part of the final book in the Wheel of Time series. It's been in bookstores for a while, but I wanted to re-read the books and catch myself up on what was going on (these books are HUGE for those of you who don't know). I also finished more than half of the 836 page book that precedes A Memory Of Light Part 1: The Gathering Storm, which is Knife of Dreams. Because I have no life. And have not been able to leave my house all weekend. Which is coincidentally why I'm writing this blog. At 4:05 in the morning. Because I have no life.

2) I'm almost finished with my first-ever novel. This is a big claim to make, considering I'll probably carry on through fifty-or-so more pages, but it's getting there. All the pieces are coming together :)

I might have to split it up and make it a series. 200+ pages seems a bit much for a bubble-gum-pop novel.

Meh. We'll see where the wind takes me.

The Future Freaks Me Out by Motion City Soundtrack

3695

Usually I adore when I can perfectly recall the last time I listened to a song. I can remember what I was wearing, what I was feeling, where I was, what was going on around me. Lately, that's not as much fun as it used to be.

(sigh) I'm ready to get back to where I was.

83 more days until I move in.

3685 by The Spill Canvas

The End

It's over. And now I'm left wondering where all of the time went. Are there more chapters? Or a sequel? Or is that all that was written?

The End by Mayday Parade

Thks Fr Th Mmrs

I can feel the new chapters unfolding in my life.

The old pages are consumed by the flames of the past. I can almost see their ashes floating away as I continue to turn the sheets of paper that have my life scrawled across them.

There's only one way to go now, and that's forward. All of the memories, the unsaid things, the pain and the happiness must be forgotten, because they're already gone.

All you can do is live in the present and hope for the future.

Thks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy

Yes, Even Stars Break

I keep replaying everything in my head, trying to figure out where everything fell apart and my world became a broken biscuit. I haven't found anything so far, so I'm guessing that I'm really perfectly fine and just being a big blob of bad feelings for nothing. I do know that there's no way in Hell I'd have been able to make it through these past few weeks without my friends, and I love you all for that :) And things are going to be okay :)

It's really amazing how the worst things that happen in life can bring out such beautiful work. My new song is going to be incredible, and that's all I can say about that. Thanks to Suites for helping out with the music! There's no way I could have written a suitable guitar part by myself, I'm just not that good yet.

E and I also did some incredible work on an old song, Birthday Wishes, the other night in the Cultural Arts Building. The music is simple, but our harmonies are going to be epic. We sang it in Dunkin' Donuts last night after band practice and got free donuts out of it :) Gotta love college. Also gotta love the fact that after class, I can just hop in the car with E and hit up the beach for the afternoon. Great way to forget about everything that's going on. There's still so much tension and stress that sometimes just getting away is the only remedy.

My pink (supposed to be purple) hair dye is fading (because I bought cheap crap- but who cares, it was a rash decision based on the need for change) so I'm going to get it professionally done when M and I hit up the good ol' hometown. My poor hair stylist is going to have a fit when she sees it (and an even bigger one when I ask her to hack most of my hair off... oh dear). I also talked my mom into letting me get a tattoo when I visit M over the summer. I have this insatiable urge for change, I just have to be patient until it's time for me to study abroad (hurrah) or Lost In Normandy gets super-famous (probably more likely than me moving to London within the next two years).

I have officially declared my Pre-Creative Writing major (I won't technically be considered a Creative Writing major until I get accepted into the BFA program, which will hopefully happen after next semester). Too bad I've been unable to write anything for the past two weeks. Hmm. I wonder why. It doesn't matter though, I'll get my muchness back eventually.

Yes, Even Stars Break by The Scene Aesthetic

Eyes for this Town

I hate feeling like I've been wasting my life. What am I doing? Where am I going?

I feel like I should be doing something, something huge, but I can't. I'm held back by my own inhibitions.

...

When did home cease to be home? When did my home become another city? I'm sitting in my room in my parents' house, the room that I've had for the past nine years, and I'm right back where I was, feeling like a prisoner.

I don't belong here.

...

My life is still all about counting down days, hours, minutes. I have a week until I have to leave. A week for me to get through everything that I need to do.

I won't be home again until March.

Two months never seemed so long.

...

Eyes For This Town by To Write A Riot!