Eyes for this Town

I hate feeling like I've been wasting my life. What am I doing? Where am I going?

I feel like I should be doing something, something huge, but I can't. I'm held back by my own inhibitions.

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When did home cease to be home? When did my home become another city? I'm sitting in my room in my parents' house, the room that I've had for the past nine years, and I'm right back where I was, feeling like a prisoner.

I don't belong here.

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My life is still all about counting down days, hours, minutes. I have a week until I have to leave. A week for me to get through everything that I need to do.

I won't be home again until March.

Two months never seemed so long.

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Eyes For This Town by To Write A Riot!

To Whom It May Concern

I know it's been forever since I've written in this blog. Everything is so incredibly crazy and awesome that it's hard to remember that things need to be kept track of.

I'm going home on Tuesday and I've never been more excited to go back to my sleepy little town. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed, be with my cat, read a book by the fire and just relax until I have to return for finals.

Time seems to be stretched out here. Days feel like weeks, weeks feel like months, months feel like years. If things keep going at this pace, I'll be an old maid before I know it. I was home not too long ago, but it feels like ages and ages have passed since I last wandered the familiar streets of home.

It's hard, but I've got to meet my New Years Resolution. I *need* to finish my novel. It just has to be done, otherwise I'll always be stuck in this perpetual weirdness. I hate that my writing tends to mirror my life, because then I'm left with no definite ending. I don't want to be my character, but it's so hard to separate the two personalities. I'm not sure that I can even describe everything that's running through my head right now when it comes to this story. I wish I could just pull myself out, but I'm too involved now. There's too much of me in this story. I'll never get myself out until I finish it. Sometimes I wish I was my character, just because I feel like I know her so much better than I do myself.

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To Whom It May Concern by Emery

If You're Bored...

E and I have our first official gig as Lost In Normandy tomorrow. We're so vastly unprepared that it's comical. Not that we care. We're still performing. The show must go on, you know :)
I'm so excited though. It's not even a big gig. We're playing at a music organization's fundraiser on campus (and we're both in the organization, so yeah...).

We were supposed to go to a show the other night. Supposedly Racing Kites was performing. I checked them out (E apparently met them once and brought them food. They love her.) and I really liked their sound. So we went to the venue where they were supposed to be playing. M dropped us off and we ended up chilling for about ten minutes before finding out that Racing Kites was not actually playing that night --- great. Instead of calling M and getting her to pick us up again, we ended up grabbing pizza at a local NY pizza place (the most incredibly amazing pizza I've ever had in my entire life) and then we took a bus back to campus. We got on the wrong bus to take us back, but the driver assured us that we could transfer to another bus. The transfer place was behind Target... the sketchiest place ever. It was a good experience though; we needed to learn how to take the buses anyway.

I'm getting really pissed with the weather we're having down here. It's October. It's not supposed to be ninety-one degrees in October. I want to wear my sweaters :(

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If You're Bored by Bayside

Echoes of An Empire

So I guess I owe everyone a blog post. Everything has been crazy busy lately between getting all of the work done for my classes and keeping up with everyone at home/away.

I will say that M, E, and I went out to eat yesterday at Ruby Tuesdays and I was overjoyed to be eating *real* food. It was amazing. M asked specifically for a guy waiter (embarrassing) so we had a waiter named L. Being who we are, we had to talk to him... that's just how we roll. We saw Transformers 2 last night (it was my third time... sheesh).

Tonight we saw a documentary called Food, Inc. about food production. Don't think I'm going to be eating burgers for a while...

I got fourteen hours of sleep last night. M, E, and I watched The Vampire Diaries for a little while and then I crashed. It was pretty epic. I'm still so very, very tired.

In the morning, E and I are going with M to her Quaker Meeting House. I really, really liked it there the other week. I didn't think I'd be able to sit in silence for a whole hour, but it really wasn't that bad. Like, I got to think about some really deep stuff that I usually don't have time for. I thought about how much I missed my friends from home, especially R. But then it hit me that maybe it wasn't my friends that I was missing, but their familiarity. I knew almost everyone back home. Here, I know a bare handful of people. I know that this is going to change with time, but familiarity is so comforting, it's hard not to miss it.

I'm so excited about coming home for the weekend. It's going to be amazing. :)

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Echoes of an Empire: Picture Me Broken (awesome band w/ a girl screamer- you don't see many of those)

Such Great Heights

So I've got a four to seven page story due Tuesday for Creative Writing and I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only thing I feel like writing right now is Min and Alex's story, but I can't turn that in for a grade. One, because I didn't specifically write it for this class and that's against the rules. Two, it's over sixty pages long. It always really sucks when you're stuck and can't move forward.

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C and J came down on Friday. We had so much fun. Like... This weekend has been the most amazing three days of my life (despite the fact that they left to go home this morning). I'm actually kinda bummed right now. I'm gonna miss him :( But hopefully three weeks will go by more quickly than I feel like they will.

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I've gotta get back to this story. I've never had such a hard time writing before. Ugh.

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Such Great Heights by The Postal Service

Hold on Tight

So last night was the most amazing night ever. I wasn't quite sure how it was going to work out, since everything was set up to be so very awkward. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't.

E's mom picked us up from the dorm and we drove in traffic for two hours. Much fun there. I started writing my Cinderella story from the point of view of Anastasia, one of the wicked step-sisters. But I only have to write two pages, so I'm like, *cringe*. Only two pages.... *sigh* that's going to make an incredible story though...

Anyway, when we pulled up, C and J were driving past E's road coming to pick me up, and E totally called it. "Wouldn't it be funny, if like, when we turn into the road, they were turning into the road, too?" They missed the road, but they were there.

We ended up going to Chick-fil-e and then to this crazy-awesome bamboo forest where there was this old dilapidated house and some crazy old cars. It was the sketchiest thing I think I've ever seen. After that we rented Penelope and went back to Eve's house to watch. That is like, the most amazing movie ever. After the movie we went to this park where there were giant rocks for climbing and whatnot, so we climbed onto them and watched the stars. It was a good night :)

Things are getting pretty insane overall. I'm so content to just sit back and watch it all unravel.

<3

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Hold on Tight by Lost In Normandy

Be Calm

7:17... not a bad time of morning, right? It's after sunrise, before the morning gets too late... Not bad. Wronggggg, especially when you wake up and realize that your alarm was set to the wrong time and you have just about thirteen minutes to get up, get ready, and get out the door. Guys might shrug and change their clothes, ready to go in three minutes, but girls... girls are another story entirely. Showers, make up, clothes... we need time to prepare ourselves for facing the world.

So needless to say, when I opened my eyes to find sunlight streaming in through our tiny window, I freaked out. Did the alarm not go off? Was it broken? Did I turn it off in my sleep? I pondered these questions as I flew through half my morning routine.

With wet hair streaming behind me and only half of my face done up, I began to power-walk to class. I would have ran to the Cultural Arts building, had it not been for the incredibly bulging book bag that I'd strapped on. My calves ached by the time I'd crossed into the air conditioning, where the cold air burned my lungs...

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Anyway, that was my morning yesterday. I wrote that narrative as I waited outside for English class (my second class of the day). I had an hour to burn and nothing better to do with my time than write down what was running through my mind.

Speaking of writing, I wrote a freaking incredible song the other day. It's my new baby. I gave it to a friend for his birthday.

So my Creative Writing class is the most epic course in the world. I adore it. I don't speak up much on the whole, but no doubt I'm sure I will eventually. I've just got to find my comfort zone.

I'm supposed to be doing my English homework right now... hahaha... I've got to print it off tonight in J's room because E and I don't have a printer in our room and the iPrint station downstairs is broken or something like that -suckssssss.

I've started keeping a Writing Journal for Creative Writing. I've got one page about the auditions for "The Wild Duck" that I went to the other day. I found it extremely interesting.

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I get to come home for Labor Day. I'm psyched to get my boots... I miss them so very much... and my cat, I really, really miss my cat.

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Be Calm by Fun