Yes, Even Stars Break

I keep replaying everything in my head, trying to figure out where everything fell apart and my world became a broken biscuit. I haven't found anything so far, so I'm guessing that I'm really perfectly fine and just being a big blob of bad feelings for nothing. I do know that there's no way in Hell I'd have been able to make it through these past few weeks without my friends, and I love you all for that :) And things are going to be okay :)

It's really amazing how the worst things that happen in life can bring out such beautiful work. My new song is going to be incredible, and that's all I can say about that. Thanks to Suites for helping out with the music! There's no way I could have written a suitable guitar part by myself, I'm just not that good yet.

E and I also did some incredible work on an old song, Birthday Wishes, the other night in the Cultural Arts Building. The music is simple, but our harmonies are going to be epic. We sang it in Dunkin' Donuts last night after band practice and got free donuts out of it :) Gotta love college. Also gotta love the fact that after class, I can just hop in the car with E and hit up the beach for the afternoon. Great way to forget about everything that's going on. There's still so much tension and stress that sometimes just getting away is the only remedy.

My pink (supposed to be purple) hair dye is fading (because I bought cheap crap- but who cares, it was a rash decision based on the need for change) so I'm going to get it professionally done when M and I hit up the good ol' hometown. My poor hair stylist is going to have a fit when she sees it (and an even bigger one when I ask her to hack most of my hair off... oh dear). I also talked my mom into letting me get a tattoo when I visit M over the summer. I have this insatiable urge for change, I just have to be patient until it's time for me to study abroad (hurrah) or Lost In Normandy gets super-famous (probably more likely than me moving to London within the next two years).

I have officially declared my Pre-Creative Writing major (I won't technically be considered a Creative Writing major until I get accepted into the BFA program, which will hopefully happen after next semester). Too bad I've been unable to write anything for the past two weeks. Hmm. I wonder why. It doesn't matter though, I'll get my muchness back eventually.

Yes, Even Stars Break by The Scene Aesthetic

Eyes for this Town

I hate feeling like I've been wasting my life. What am I doing? Where am I going?

I feel like I should be doing something, something huge, but I can't. I'm held back by my own inhibitions.

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When did home cease to be home? When did my home become another city? I'm sitting in my room in my parents' house, the room that I've had for the past nine years, and I'm right back where I was, feeling like a prisoner.

I don't belong here.

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My life is still all about counting down days, hours, minutes. I have a week until I have to leave. A week for me to get through everything that I need to do.

I won't be home again until March.

Two months never seemed so long.

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Eyes For This Town by To Write A Riot!

To Whom It May Concern

I know it's been forever since I've written in this blog. Everything is so incredibly crazy and awesome that it's hard to remember that things need to be kept track of.

I'm going home on Tuesday and I've never been more excited to go back to my sleepy little town. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed, be with my cat, read a book by the fire and just relax until I have to return for finals.

Time seems to be stretched out here. Days feel like weeks, weeks feel like months, months feel like years. If things keep going at this pace, I'll be an old maid before I know it. I was home not too long ago, but it feels like ages and ages have passed since I last wandered the familiar streets of home.

It's hard, but I've got to meet my New Years Resolution. I *need* to finish my novel. It just has to be done, otherwise I'll always be stuck in this perpetual weirdness. I hate that my writing tends to mirror my life, because then I'm left with no definite ending. I don't want to be my character, but it's so hard to separate the two personalities. I'm not sure that I can even describe everything that's running through my head right now when it comes to this story. I wish I could just pull myself out, but I'm too involved now. There's too much of me in this story. I'll never get myself out until I finish it. Sometimes I wish I was my character, just because I feel like I know her so much better than I do myself.

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To Whom It May Concern by Emery

If You're Bored...

E and I have our first official gig as Lost In Normandy tomorrow. We're so vastly unprepared that it's comical. Not that we care. We're still performing. The show must go on, you know :)
I'm so excited though. It's not even a big gig. We're playing at a music organization's fundraiser on campus (and we're both in the organization, so yeah...).

We were supposed to go to a show the other night. Supposedly Racing Kites was performing. I checked them out (E apparently met them once and brought them food. They love her.) and I really liked their sound. So we went to the venue where they were supposed to be playing. M dropped us off and we ended up chilling for about ten minutes before finding out that Racing Kites was not actually playing that night --- great. Instead of calling M and getting her to pick us up again, we ended up grabbing pizza at a local NY pizza place (the most incredibly amazing pizza I've ever had in my entire life) and then we took a bus back to campus. We got on the wrong bus to take us back, but the driver assured us that we could transfer to another bus. The transfer place was behind Target... the sketchiest place ever. It was a good experience though; we needed to learn how to take the buses anyway.

I'm getting really pissed with the weather we're having down here. It's October. It's not supposed to be ninety-one degrees in October. I want to wear my sweaters :(

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If You're Bored by Bayside

Echoes of An Empire

So I guess I owe everyone a blog post. Everything has been crazy busy lately between getting all of the work done for my classes and keeping up with everyone at home/away.

I will say that M, E, and I went out to eat yesterday at Ruby Tuesdays and I was overjoyed to be eating *real* food. It was amazing. M asked specifically for a guy waiter (embarrassing) so we had a waiter named L. Being who we are, we had to talk to him... that's just how we roll. We saw Transformers 2 last night (it was my third time... sheesh).

Tonight we saw a documentary called Food, Inc. about food production. Don't think I'm going to be eating burgers for a while...

I got fourteen hours of sleep last night. M, E, and I watched The Vampire Diaries for a little while and then I crashed. It was pretty epic. I'm still so very, very tired.

In the morning, E and I are going with M to her Quaker Meeting House. I really, really liked it there the other week. I didn't think I'd be able to sit in silence for a whole hour, but it really wasn't that bad. Like, I got to think about some really deep stuff that I usually don't have time for. I thought about how much I missed my friends from home, especially R. But then it hit me that maybe it wasn't my friends that I was missing, but their familiarity. I knew almost everyone back home. Here, I know a bare handful of people. I know that this is going to change with time, but familiarity is so comforting, it's hard not to miss it.

I'm so excited about coming home for the weekend. It's going to be amazing. :)

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Echoes of an Empire: Picture Me Broken (awesome band w/ a girl screamer- you don't see many of those)

Such Great Heights

So I've got a four to seven page story due Tuesday for Creative Writing and I've got nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only thing I feel like writing right now is Min and Alex's story, but I can't turn that in for a grade. One, because I didn't specifically write it for this class and that's against the rules. Two, it's over sixty pages long. It always really sucks when you're stuck and can't move forward.

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C and J came down on Friday. We had so much fun. Like... This weekend has been the most amazing three days of my life (despite the fact that they left to go home this morning). I'm actually kinda bummed right now. I'm gonna miss him :( But hopefully three weeks will go by more quickly than I feel like they will.

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I've gotta get back to this story. I've never had such a hard time writing before. Ugh.

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Such Great Heights by The Postal Service

Hold on Tight

So last night was the most amazing night ever. I wasn't quite sure how it was going to work out, since everything was set up to be so very awkward. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn't.

E's mom picked us up from the dorm and we drove in traffic for two hours. Much fun there. I started writing my Cinderella story from the point of view of Anastasia, one of the wicked step-sisters. But I only have to write two pages, so I'm like, *cringe*. Only two pages.... *sigh* that's going to make an incredible story though...

Anyway, when we pulled up, C and J were driving past E's road coming to pick me up, and E totally called it. "Wouldn't it be funny, if like, when we turn into the road, they were turning into the road, too?" They missed the road, but they were there.

We ended up going to Chick-fil-e and then to this crazy-awesome bamboo forest where there was this old dilapidated house and some crazy old cars. It was the sketchiest thing I think I've ever seen. After that we rented Penelope and went back to Eve's house to watch. That is like, the most amazing movie ever. After the movie we went to this park where there were giant rocks for climbing and whatnot, so we climbed onto them and watched the stars. It was a good night :)

Things are getting pretty insane overall. I'm so content to just sit back and watch it all unravel.

<3

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Hold on Tight by Lost In Normandy