Granger Danger

So the past few days have been excruciating.

...

Last night, my friend EE and I got all dolled up in our little black dresses and glamourous make-up to go out, but weren't able to get anything together.

So what do we do?

We call up J and we have a photo-shoot at the park. At ten o'clock at night. G came, snazzily dressed in a tux that he just happened to have.

While we were taking pictures (a.k.a playing on the playground equipment), a white car shows up.

EE had a minor panic attack and pulled out a can of mace that she just happened to be carrying on her person.

The drive rolls down the window. "Ben?!" ... We pause, not quite sure what to say. "BEN?!"

G: "Who's Ben?"

Driver: "BEN, I'MMA F****** KILL YOU!!!"

... "Ben?"

The driver then pulls his car over to the parking lot across from us and gets out of his car. EE is about to run away, three-inch heels and all. He crosses the road in between us, screaming at Ben.

When he reaches the halfway point in between us and his car, he pauses and shouts "BEN?" once more.

G shouts back that none of us are Ben, nor do we know any Bens and have not seen anyone since we arrived at the park.

The driver pauses. "So you haven't seen two kids?"

No. That's what we just said.

Driver: "I'MMA F****** KILL HIM!!!"

He then drives away without another word. I'm concerned for this Ben. I'm not quite sure what he's gotten himself into, but he and his friend should hide.

Anyway, for the rest of the night, we re-named everyone we saw either Ben or Bennita. We laughed for hours.

...

ONLY THREE MORE DAYS until I move into my apartment and live with my two favorite girls in the Dub area.

I hate the fact that every time I get ready to leave, something new happens to make me want to stay and see what the end result will be. I'm fairly sure that leaving is for the best in this case, though. The air is abuzz with possibilities :)

Granger Danger by Team Starkid (A Very Potter Musical)

L.G. Fuad

Mom's car exploded.

Not really, the transmission is just messing up.

But this makes it insanely difficult to plan a car-sharing schedule over the weekend (since we both have to work) because she's still not speaking to me.

...

There are eight days in between me and moving out of this house. I've been getting through them by watching A Very Potter Sequel.

This is the second time I've watched it. I adore Team Starkid.

...

It's weird, though. This time last year, I didn't want to leave home. Things were actually looking up for once, and I hated to leave in the middle of everything.

Now, I can't wait to get out. I hate that things are this way, but I can't do anything to change them now.

L.G. Fuad by Motion City Soundtrack

Even If It Kills Me

I've never had so many people not talking to me before, and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. Usually I'm freaking out all the time, trying to fix things and please people and just generally make everyone smile and myself miserable.

Now, I'm just bored with it. Okay, I'm not perfect. You can deal with it.

My mom isn't speaking to me right now. At all. Despite the fact that I'm leaving in ten days for college and not coming back this time until Christmas break. Last year, I was home at least once a month, just because that's how my schedule worked out (and I was a stupid teenager with a boyfriend back at home). But now I have a job, and an apartment, and I can't be running home all the time.

I'm not sure how to handle this silence. While I don't want to leave things tense between the two of us, I REALLY, really, really, REALLY, really don't want to have a shouting match before I leave. I'm so tired of fighting with everything and everyone (myself included).

...

My cat is currently sitting on top of my backing bins. I don't think that Jazz understands what they are, only that they are stable enough for her to jump off of when on the prowl. She's stalking my Disney princess balloon at the moment.

...

Packing over a week in advance is difficult work. I'm constantly thinking about what I'll need and what I won't. The fact that Mom's not talking to me doesn't make it any easier when I'm deciding what furniture I want to take with me.

I'm just ready to be gone from all of this drama. I want to rid myself of this old shell and start something new and incredible again. Like last year, only more amazing because I won't have the same ties that I did when I first left. I feel so pent up right now, so frustrated, so tired.

10 days and counting.

Even If It Kills Me by Motion City Soundtrack

Cold As You

And thus ends the exciting adventure in having the house to myself. My parents and younger brother arrived back in town from Cincinnati earlier this evening and I'm not sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, I'm glad I'm no longer responsible for everything that occurs in this house. On the other, I miss the silence. Oh, how I miss the silence.

For a while, the quiet of the house freaked me out. Every horror movie I've ever seen raced through my mind as I opened the bathroom door or walked out to the garage. I could just imagine a bathtub full of blood, or a chainsaw-carrying psychopath hiding in the dark.

But now. Now I think I'd much prefer the psychopath.

At least the psychopath wouldn't turn on every fan in the house along with the air conditioning. I walked in from work today and the house was a good twenty degrees colder than when I had left. I'm currently typing this blog post from my bed, where I'm wrapped in sweatpants, a hoodie, and two comforters. Yeah, I usually sleep with two comforters on when my mom is around.

...

I made a mistake this week that I continue to keep making. It's so irritating that I can't learn from the past. But being the type of person I am (romantic novelist who falls in love with ideas rather than actual people), I was doomed.

I feel like this was a week for mistakes. And lessons. And adventures. I think I learned more about myself this week than I did during the entire first semester of college. Granted, there's a reason I didn't learn much about myself during that semester, but that's also the reason I'm so in-tune with myself right now.

The summer's not over yet, though, and there is still a lot of stuff running through my head. In two weeks, I'll be out of this town and back home.

I want everything to be settled then. I want my bridges burned. I want to be free. We'll see where life takes me.

Cold As You by Taylor Swift

Party Girl

So I was hostessing at work today. This is a very, very simple task that involves seating people at various tables on a rotation. Not hard.

Today started out like any other day. I went in, my manager told me things that I already knew because he likes to repeat himself, and I started working.

Today a very nice lady decided to approach me... Speaking French. As sad as I am to say this, I don't speak French. I knew enough to know that she was asking me if I spoke French, but all I could do was shake my head. She then asked me, in Spanish, if I spoke Spanish. I realize that supposedly, I've been learning Spanish since the first grade (had I stayed at the elementary school that I was in for kindergarten, I would have actually learned French instead... and Japanese) I am not a fluent Spanish speaker. Not even close - although my Spanish 211 class in college helped out a lot. Anyway, the moment I sat her at her table, I was sorely tempted to run out of the restaurant and buy every Rosetta Stone within a ten mile radius.

-----

On another note, I was woken up a few days ago at 9:30 in the morning by my good friend J. J and I have a really great friendship, but after reading the text he sent me, I definitely started doubting whether or not I could consider him a friend.

His text read "Have you read all the Harry Potter books?"

..... Yes. Yes I have. I am an avid Harry Potter fan, so much so that for a brief period of time, I could have accurately described myself as a FanGirl.

"Does Dumbledore die?"

..... I'm an aspiring author. Why would I give away such key plot points?! As I look back on it, I really wish that I had created some complete nonsense story and fed it to him. Instead, I took a deep breath and gave a vague sketch of the plot. I'm a terrible person.

-----

My all-time favorite band, McFly, just released their new single to the radio. The song is called "Party Girl."

Let me declare something: I love McFly. I've been a HUGE supporter of their music ever since I stumbled across them in 2005. They resurrected Brit Pop from an untimely grave. Their song "Five Colours in Her Hair" was incredible (especially the re-make that they did for their US album), so was their last single "One for the Radio." That song was a bit more mainstream that I had previously seen them do, but it was still along the lines of McFly awesomeness. Of course, my favorite McFly song was "Transylvania" on their Motion In The Ocean album.

But I digress.

Their new song, titled "Party Girl" surprised me. Maybe it was the random female voice at the beginning. Maybe it was the synth. Maybe it was the way I kept expecting to hear "caught in a bad romance..." after the first five seconds...

Please don't get me wrong. I don't hate it. I still love McFly. Danny, Dougie, Tom, and Harry all have my heart (though Dougie is still my favorite). I will still buy the album when it comes out September 6th. I was just a bit surprised and disappointed that they sound exactly like everything else on the radio these days. I'm hoping that the album will show a bit more variety. But like Tom said when he introduced the song on a British radio station a few days ago. "It's the end of the beginning."

-----

Facebook just bumped me off for site maintenance. It's sad that this bothers me so much. I feel like I shouldn't be so dependent on the internet. And yet here I sit, holding six different conversations, playing music, checking my e-mail, and writing this post when I should be fast asleep for my morning shift tomorrow. Hmmm. Oh well :)

Party Girl by McFly

The Blank Static Screen

My friend, R, has been giving me grief about writing a blog for my band, LIN. I am of the opinion that this blog will be terribly boring until things actually start *happening* with my band. As of now, my band mate is four hours away from me and we haven't written anything new in ages. I just haven't felt like music-writing.

HOWEVER

I did finally break my writer's block! It took a terrible thunder storm and a close call with a bolt of lightning to bring the words back to me. Which is weird, but I'm not going to question, I'm just going to roll with it. Thanks to the return of my senses, I might actually reach my self-imposed deadline. The book *might* actually be finished by the end of summer.

I'm so excited about the close of this book. There are only a few more scenes that I have to work to piece together, and then of course I have to write the final ending. But it's going to be beautiful when I finally finish.

I'm hoping that Warped Tour will help to fuel the fire that's been started inside of me, forging the words that I type out. All of the excitement is exactly what I need. Right now I have my iTunes library on shuffle to give me some random music that I haven't listened to in forever. There are so many songs that I haven't actually listened to - for good reason - but now they're helping my concentration since I can't sing along to them.

The Blank Static Screen by VersaEmerge

Fuzzy Blue Lights

I feel like I've hit a solid brick wall in every single creative endeavor I've ever started. There's no music inside of me right now, and the words that usually flow into a story have all but dried up. In the past two weeks, I've been able to play only covers and have written three sentences in my book. I'm so incredibly frustrated.

I've taken to having random adventures, hoping that they'll spur me into writing something, anything, that could be remotely useful.

Two nights ago, my friends C, J, J, and I played putt-putt. On a whim, we decided that we would go ahead and spend the extra $3 to play on the bumper boats. It was WORTH IT. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life. We all got soaked and proceeded to buy a deck of cards and play B/S at a local coffee shop. I adore B/S.

I'm getting super-psyched for the my Ultimate Adventure, going to Warped Tour. There are going to be so many incredible bands performing. I was surprised that I actually knew most of them, haha. It's going to be an incredible day.

Only a few more weeks until E, M, and I move into our new apartment. I can't wait to get back to writing music with E. Maybe it'll go better than it has with me on my own.

Fuzzy Blue Lights by Owl City

Lost

My adventurous trip to PA via train with E and J was sadly cancelled. I am super, super bummed. Although since it was supposed to be a surprise for M, she shouldn't be too upset.

Anyway, it was cancelled because the money that I was supposed to put forward for my train ticket will now be paying for another kind of ticket. It turns out that the tags on my Cobalt expired back in February, during my two-month absence from home. Dad failed to change them out, so I was given a $155 ticket. The really sad thing was that I was on my way to Church when I got the ticket. Gee, thanks.

Anyway, my exciting adventure at Cracker Barrel starts tomorrow morning at 10:30. I'm also going to sign my resignation papers at Forever 21. I feel kind-of sad about it. I was getting used to F21... Oh well. I'm going to look so ridiculous in my outfit. I had to buy a boys size shirt to wear since they were the only ones with "button-down collars." Stupid shirts.

I can't wait to hit up my college town as soon as possible. It's going to be crazy-awesome fun. And E's coming down in a few days to bum around with me. My small town has no idea what it's in for with the two of us running around. HA.

Lost by Saving Jane

La La Lie

So R, C, J, K and I saw Toy Story 3 the other night. ... ... ... It exceeded my highest expectations and made my night! I adored how it kept with the childhood amazingness of the first movie.

I started tearing apart my Band Story today (yeah, I know I said I was doing that a while ago, but I'm easily distracted and other things came up). I deleted an entire chapter so far, cutting out the role of a main character who I had completely forgotten to give a last name to. Obviously he wasn't too very important. He still has a tiny role at the beginning, otherwise I would have felt bad. Cutting a character's role isn't like killing a character off entirely. I did that once, and I felt haunted for weeks after. No doubt I'll have to do it again, but I dislike it and for now, no one has to die. Maybe a drug incident or something, but not death. Not in this story.

Anyway, I'm having to redefine a lot of the characters because of their shaky basis. I figure since all I'm doing is working and bumming around, I might as well get something done. I have less than fifty days, and it's not looking very good.

I can't wait to get out of this town and be with my college friends again. I love my friends here, don't get me wrong, but I miss my freedom. Last night I rolled into the driveway at five in the morning (right before the sun came up) thinking that since I beat the sun, I wasn't late. That is not the belief shared by my parents. I'm surprised that I'm not locked away in my room until the end of the summer, but they were just upset that they didn't know where I was/ what might have happened to me/ if I was alive or not....... yeaaaaaaah.

La La Lie by Jack's Mannequin

Sit Still

So I started writing these Character Sketches of all of my awesome characters a few nights ago. I spent three hours deconstructing the main character, figuring that Min would be the hardest. But alas, her boy is much more difficult to accurately describe. There's this whole problem where I've built him up so much in my mind, and I have to realize that he's not perfect. Oh, Alex. He *would* be the one to give me trouble.

I'm really looking forward to getting to the rest of the band. Tim, Scott, and Oliver are sure to amuse me while I'm figuring them out.

On another note, TOY STORY THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so incredibly excited about seeing this movie. Which is weird, because while I think of Toy Story as an authentic Disney movie, and I adore Disney, I still haven't seen the Princess and the Frog. I feel weird about a movie that's supposed to be the next Classic Disney movie with the next Disney Princess. Maybe I'm just too old to really integrate a new Princess into my mind. I mean, Kingdom Hearts has kind-of established the Disney Princesses. Although.... Alice wasn't a princess... And Pocahontas wasn't in the game. Which was lame, because Pocahontas was totally a Disney Princess. Okay, now my head is spinning. Suffice it to say I am incredibly excited for the movie on Friday, with my favorite boys. It should be good fun.

45 days until August. 53 days until we move into our apartment!!!

Sit Still by Brightwood

Reflections...

So today I had an interview. It went rather well. I was happy with it :) I've gotten the hang of this interview-thing. Haha. Anyway.

After I got through the questioning and the pretending-to-be-a-happy-bubbly-person thing, I decided to hit the pool. I've restarted reading The Eye of The World (Book 1: Wheel of Time) because it's a paperback and I figured if I dropped it in the water, I could start replacing my paperback WoT books with hardbacks. I got really into it, and am sunburnt because of it.

After I put the book down, I began reflecting on my own book (as of yet, still untitled) and I can't say that I'm happy about the way it's going. There's so much work yet to do. My characters need to be more fleshed out. They're still 2-D. I'm boggled by just how much I have yet to do; it almost hurts to think about. I've done so much with this story, but it's still not where I want it to be. But I still love writing, and I'll continue until I finish this stupid story about a band and a silly girl with a guitar. My new timeline for it still says that I should finish the rough draft by the end of the summer. Hopefully, I'll be completely finished with it by the beginning of next summer. By then, I can start peddling it to agents and publishing companies. We'll see. I have big hopes for it. And if it doesn't work out at first, Jane Austen was turned down time and time again as well.

47 more days until August. The days seem to be going by even slower than I could have imagined. There's just so much to do. And so much muck in my head that I can hardly think straight most of the time. I'm such a silly, silly girl.

Reflections by Lost In Normandy

Need You Now

Dear radio stations:

You are not being witty when you play "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum at 1:15 in the morning. Yes, I know that "it's a quarter after one/ I'm all alone/ And I need you now." But when you do that night after night, it gets a little old. And it wasn't funny in the first place.

On another note: my job has started rubbing off on me. Stocking shelves in a clothing store and manning the fitting room can suck out the intelligent part of your brain and replace it with fashion. My fashion senses have started going crazy, and I've been talking camis, belts, and accessories ALL DAY LONG. You would not *believe* the outfit I've picked out for myself tomorrow. It's pure madness. Like a style bomb went off. Also, I'm going to my roommate's town for a night (probably not even that if I have to work the next day) and my away bag is FULL of clothes because I don't know what I'll wear to the concert we're going to. FULL. I don't *need* that many clothes, but I take them because I need help putting the proper outfit together. (sigh).

The upshot of all of this is that when I hit up E's house, after the concert, we're going to lay down some awesome tracks and use them to enter a contest. First prize is $1000. Heck yes. I'll keep you updated on that :)

Need You Now by Lady Antebellum

Stranger, You and I

I just need to stop thinking. Thinking leads to remembering leads to questioning leads to me staying up late at night with my only wish being that I could slip into a beautiful state of unconsciousness until I have to wake up for work. Instead, it's 1:11 am on Thursday morning in this sleepy little town and I'm sitting here at my computer wishing that things could be different.

But they can't be, and I hate that I'm wasting my time dreaming instead of living. Then again, I guess that's the price of living in a small town. I probably wouldn't have become a writer had I not been deprived of grand adventures. I have to have fun somehow.

Stranger, You and I by Daphne Loves Derby

I Own These Streets

61 Days and counting.

I've been writing in this blog a lot more frequently because I've been trying to figure a lot of things out lately. It's not that everything has gotten more complicated, it's just that I've decided that now is the time to clear away all of the old cobwebs, and now I'm confused about what to keep and what to throw away. It's not an easy decision by a long shot. But I know that I'll make the right decisions. Or at least, I know that I'll get by with whatever I choose.

I'm going running in four and a half hours with D and E(2). I haven't done this since the beginning of May when I was still at college and utilizing our free gym. But I'm really excited about it. I can't wait. Even though I'm not going to go to sleep tonight and then going to run three miles (?!?!). Good thing I spend most of my time sleeping the day away.

My new job has proven an interesting experience for me. While I'm not really into what I do, I'm learning a lot about people. I'm still terrified, though, and I think it'll be a good growing-up thing for me to learn how to get past that fear. I've always been irrational about my shyness. In school, the complaint that I heard from teachers wasn't "she acts out and is irresponsible," but instead "she's a good student, but needs to speak up more." I'm tired of being that girl. I'm ready to become someone else. Besides, I need to be able to sell my novel, right?

Speaking of my novel, the first draft is still scheduled to be finished by the end of July (crosses fingers and prays). There are always complications that could cause it to extend into August, but I'm really, really pushing for it to be done by the time E(1), M, and I move into our new apartment. I need to be ready to move on with my life. So by Christmas, it will be completely and totally finished. And ready to send to publishers. We'll see if that goes anywhere.

Lost In Normandy is reuniting this weekend!!!!!!!!!! We're not going to be playing anywhere, but we'll still be together. I haven't seen E(1) since I came back from college. E(1) is getting us tickets for the Jonas Sees In Color concert :D If you haven't checked them out yet, you should. My favorite of their songs is "Loose Threads" but they also have great tracks like "Devil In The City," "Avalanche," and "West Coast." All of their songs are great, but those are my favorites. <3>

I'm booking train tickets for LIN's trip to PA with J. It's going to be EPIC AWESOMENESS. We're so crazy. And we're taking a *train.* SOOO awesome!

I Own These Streets by Jonas Sees In Color

Am I Missing

I hate writing. I hate it so, so much. But I love it, too. I can feel the story there, I can live it again and again in my false memories, but I can't put words to what is happening in my mind. The words aren't right. They're empty and meaningless for the time being. I feel like such a jerk for putting Min through all of this. I mean, she's going to come out stronger for it, but still.

It sucks. I start writing and all I can see is a mirror. I don't want to lose part of me in this novel. It started out as nothing, but now it has become everything.

I've come a very long way from my first novel.

The scary thing is that the revision process of this story is going to be a lot more intense than the first draft. I'm scared. I don't know the ending anymore.

On an unrelated note, my job scares the hell out of me. It's not a hard job. There's no reason for me to be so terrified of walking in the doors and clocking in. But I am afraid, so very, very afraid. I'm afraid that I'm going to mess up, that I'm going to fail, that I'm not going to be good enough. But lately I've felt like that about everything. It's like something has a constant grip on my lungs and I can't really breathe.

On one hand, I think it's good that I'm out of my comfort zone. I'm tired of being the shy, quiet girl in the back of the room who never speaks up. I want to grow up. But everything that I've been through has said that it's just better to go unnoticed. I'm not sure how this is going to work out when E and I become famous rock stars... So I stay at my new job, and I try and get more comfortable with it. Maybe it'll help me grow as a person, or maybe I'll screw up and get fired. Either way, it beats sitting at home. Although, either way, I'm going to be a bit more insane by the end of the summer.

I'm tired of dreaming.

Am I Missing by Dashboard Confessional.

Kiss and Sell

So here's to the start of a new adventure - my first day of my first real job. *insert terrified face here.*

I've noticed something. Whenever I'm nervous or unsure about a situation I'm going to be placed in, I tend to obsess over my outfit that I'm going to wear to the situation. Right now I've delved into the deepest corners of my closet and still have no idea what I'm going to wear tonight. I also tend to listen to sad music, but I think that's just a phase that I'm in right now in my iTunes library.

I think the thing I miss most about college is having a giant group of friends in one convenient place. If E went out and M was busy, all I had to do was walk down the hallway and I'd find someone... not that I ever really did that, but the point is still there. It's very lonely at home.

I've started reading the twelfth Wheel of Time book: The Gathering Storm. Meh. I respect Brandon Sanderson immensely for stepping in and doing what had to be done after Robert Jordan passed away. But still. I miss the way the books used to be written :( I'm really, really excited to see what will happen in the final books, though. I mean, it's been thousands upon thousands of pages. I never thought the books would come to a close.

I also finished Persistence of Memory by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. It blew my mind that this book combined every one of the books that she had previously written. Like, in the back of my mind, I realized that all of the books were connected, but this book spelled it out for me and I think I actually, excitedly, shrieked when I realized it. Great book :)

Because of the excessive reading I've been doing lately, my own book has been neglected somewhat more than I had anticipated. I just keep getting so into what is going on in the story that I have no idea how to handle my own character right now. I'm getting lost in the world I've built out of words and boredom. I'm still planning on finishing it by the summer though. There is a definite ending, I just have to figure out how to get Min to see that.

Kiss and Sell by The Maine

Very Good Advice

I got my very first *real* job today. I'm pretty sure that it usually takes more than three minutes to interview, usually, but it was fun and now I'm going to have a paycheck and can take that on my trip to visit my roommate :D

I still have a count-down until I get to go back home. 73 days and counting. I really can't wait to be on my own, though I've had some fun since I've been back in town. I really, really miss performing though. I also miss going to the beach. I need some sunshine (it's been rainy here - blah). Sunshine and cute boys and my girls back at my side. Ah yes.

I cannot wait until Alice in Wonderland comes out on DVD soon. I know a lot of people think that it was lame, but I absolutely loved that movie. Maybe it's because I'm half-mad as is. :)

This novel that I'm writing is going to end up kicking my butt. (sigh). I must prevail!

Very Good Advice - Alice in Wonderland (covered by Robert Smith)

The Future Freaks Me Out

I always wanted write things that would follow in the footsteps of Austen or the Brontë sisters. I knew that it wouldn't really happen that way, but it was I dreamt of. I have greatly overestimated my abilities. Maybe I'll be stuck writing bubble-gum-pop novels for the rest of my life. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just wanted to do a little bit more.

I think that being at home has made me lose a lot of the faith in myself that I had gained in college. It doesn't take much to revert back to one's natural state, and all of the ground that I had gained in college seems to have disappeared. Leaving me confused and unsteady. I miss being sure of my abilities. 76 days left until I move into my own apartment far away from this place (not that I'm counting...).

My cat is determined to kill me, that I *am* sure of. Ever since I got home, I've felt absolutely terrible. I might just have a horrible summer cold, but there's a distinct possibility that I am allergic to my cat. So naturally, I became her favorite person in the whole house. She sits with me, sleeps in my bed, and follows me wherever I go. I'm actually afraid of her. She knows what she's doing, too. Silly cat. I don't know who she thinks is going to stay up all night with her if she kills me off.

There are really only two good things that came out of this weekend (Besides my younger brother turning 17... when did he get so OLD?!).

1) I got the first part of the final book in the Wheel of Time series. It's been in bookstores for a while, but I wanted to re-read the books and catch myself up on what was going on (these books are HUGE for those of you who don't know). I also finished more than half of the 836 page book that precedes A Memory Of Light Part 1: The Gathering Storm, which is Knife of Dreams. Because I have no life. And have not been able to leave my house all weekend. Which is coincidentally why I'm writing this blog. At 4:05 in the morning. Because I have no life.

2) I'm almost finished with my first-ever novel. This is a big claim to make, considering I'll probably carry on through fifty-or-so more pages, but it's getting there. All the pieces are coming together :)

I might have to split it up and make it a series. 200+ pages seems a bit much for a bubble-gum-pop novel.

Meh. We'll see where the wind takes me.

The Future Freaks Me Out by Motion City Soundtrack

3695

Usually I adore when I can perfectly recall the last time I listened to a song. I can remember what I was wearing, what I was feeling, where I was, what was going on around me. Lately, that's not as much fun as it used to be.

(sigh) I'm ready to get back to where I was.

83 more days until I move in.

3685 by The Spill Canvas

The End

It's over. And now I'm left wondering where all of the time went. Are there more chapters? Or a sequel? Or is that all that was written?

The End by Mayday Parade

Thks Fr Th Mmrs

I can feel the new chapters unfolding in my life.

The old pages are consumed by the flames of the past. I can almost see their ashes floating away as I continue to turn the sheets of paper that have my life scrawled across them.

There's only one way to go now, and that's forward. All of the memories, the unsaid things, the pain and the happiness must be forgotten, because they're already gone.

All you can do is live in the present and hope for the future.

Thks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy

Yes, Even Stars Break

I keep replaying everything in my head, trying to figure out where everything fell apart and my world became a broken biscuit. I haven't found anything so far, so I'm guessing that I'm really perfectly fine and just being a big blob of bad feelings for nothing. I do know that there's no way in Hell I'd have been able to make it through these past few weeks without my friends, and I love you all for that :) And things are going to be okay :)

It's really amazing how the worst things that happen in life can bring out such beautiful work. My new song is going to be incredible, and that's all I can say about that. Thanks to Suites for helping out with the music! There's no way I could have written a suitable guitar part by myself, I'm just not that good yet.

E and I also did some incredible work on an old song, Birthday Wishes, the other night in the Cultural Arts Building. The music is simple, but our harmonies are going to be epic. We sang it in Dunkin' Donuts last night after band practice and got free donuts out of it :) Gotta love college. Also gotta love the fact that after class, I can just hop in the car with E and hit up the beach for the afternoon. Great way to forget about everything that's going on. There's still so much tension and stress that sometimes just getting away is the only remedy.

My pink (supposed to be purple) hair dye is fading (because I bought cheap crap- but who cares, it was a rash decision based on the need for change) so I'm going to get it professionally done when M and I hit up the good ol' hometown. My poor hair stylist is going to have a fit when she sees it (and an even bigger one when I ask her to hack most of my hair off... oh dear). I also talked my mom into letting me get a tattoo when I visit M over the summer. I have this insatiable urge for change, I just have to be patient until it's time for me to study abroad (hurrah) or Lost In Normandy gets super-famous (probably more likely than me moving to London within the next two years).

I have officially declared my Pre-Creative Writing major (I won't technically be considered a Creative Writing major until I get accepted into the BFA program, which will hopefully happen after next semester). Too bad I've been unable to write anything for the past two weeks. Hmm. I wonder why. It doesn't matter though, I'll get my muchness back eventually.

Yes, Even Stars Break by The Scene Aesthetic