Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop

I'm not exactly sure how I feel today. Like... half of the time I feel like I'm going to absolutely explode but the other half, it's almost like I'm not even here. And it's the really tiny things that get me really depressed, like my dad scrawling "Left" and "RIGT" (yeah, that's how he spelled Right) across the tips of my good Converse. I cried over that... twice. It's so ridiculous. And looking back, I know that it's really stupid for me to cry over such a mundane matter, but I really can't help myself.

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I took my last AP test today and might I just say that it kicked my butt. Really. It destroyed me. My essays sounded more like Story-Time-With-Kayla. "Well children, when the first ship set sail from Great Britian to touch base in the New World and the colony of Jamestown was founded..." But I'm fairly sure that passing or failing doesn't really matter to me at this point. I mean, I don't need the scores to get into college (since I've already been accepted), and I really don't need the class to graduate. But anyway, after I took the test, I skipped Calculus class (sorry Mrs. L. I love you!) since we were just doing the same things that we did yesterday. Instead, I went to the Drama Room and chilled with Mrs. S. I love having down time.

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I'm such a wreck right now. I can't believe K. even let me babysit tonight. I can barely take care of myself, let alone a ten year old girl. Everything's so jumbled and awkward and I'm not sure I know how to deal with it.

Take things with Him. I can't stand Him right now. I've told him this, he's fought with me, we've argued constantly throughout the week... why can't this all just disappear and leave me in peace?
Seriously, if I could make this go away, I would, because I feel like it's tearing me apart every time I think about it. Every time I convince myself that it doesn't matter, he looks at me with those beautiful eyes and tries to confide in me and how the Hell am I supposed to fight that?
But whatever. I only have one more summer to deal with him and how he makes me feel, and then I'll be away at college and might possibly never see him again.

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I talked to C. yesterday and he and I agreed that our band, E., should definitely play at our school's Oscar Night (which is when Seniors receive superlatives such as what I was nominated for: Most Likely to Be A Millionaire). I'm really psyched. We're playing on the bill with N.'s band, and we've got a secret weapon (shhhh!), so we'll see who keeps the bragging rights :D. I'm a little worried, though. C. and J. voted against me on the songs, and we're playing whatever they want to play. I've managed to talk them into keeping my favorite original song though... I love it. It's called "Gravity," and it's so extremely catchy (I hope...).

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The other day I realized just how much I missed the 90's. Seriously. I watched, like, six episodes of Kablam! the other day, remembering when I was little. I absolutely loved that show. And Clarissa Explains It All, The Secret World of Alex Mac, All That (with the original cast), The Amanda Show, the Inspector Gadget cartoons, etc... :( I want to be eight again, just because it was such a great time period. *Begins the search for a time machine to take me back...*

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Falling In Love In A Coffee Shop : Landon Pigg